One of my 2018 goals was to get back to blogging and
recapping my thoughts and stories because I like to share them. So one of the first blogs (even though it’s a
bit dated) I wanted to write about was my 2017 and what happened. 2017 was the year where a lot of poor choices
I made in running and life caught up with me and where I can honestly say I
learned more about myself than any other year of my life. In 2017 I learned how to not put blame on
myself for everything and go down blame spirals (especially with running, it’s
not healthy), I learned really what it was like to be a parent and how to bring my love for my daughter and running together (many stroller runs!), and I learned and stepped
outside my boundary a bit and realized everything isn’t black and white, a grey
area does exist (Some things just happen).
In 2017 when it came to running things didn’t necessarily go the way I
wanted to but that doesn’t matter 2017 was the year I needed to have to grow up
and keep my story going.
From a running perspective running started off great, I had
some really good early season results a 16:05 5k(yes that’s what my watch said,
stupid timing mats) a solid 2nd 50k at HAT and a really good showing
at Boston despite some unfavorable temperatures and running the race like a
moron. But post Boston as I have written
about ad nauseum things went downhill.
Hamstring injuries, poor race results, poor workouts/runs, constant pain
and just a dislike for running. So for
the first time in my life instead of just doing something I hated and pushing
through it I just stopped and found joy in other ways. Training for the next PR went out the window
and running was just something I was going to do for fun and when I
wanted. I met new running friends who
gave me new perspectives, I spent a ton more time with my daughter and friends
on weekends and I just decided when I wanted the fire would come back. It eventually did but I made the mistake of
jumping back too soon and faced another setback in November before CIM and
shutdown the whole season. Finally, in
mid-December the breakthrough I needed occur, pain free running and a slow start
up with some help was the recipe I needed.
In the end I learned a lot through my running experiences in 2017. I learned a great deal from some of the new
friends I met and I shared a lot of their joy, fun and enthusiasm for running which
helped me to gain a whole new perspective of running I will not forget one of
my favorite experiences of 2017 was getting to run with my friend Gavin when he
PR’ed in the Marathon at Philly. It was
a positive spin to the end of the 2017, where I spent a lot of the year just
finding something to blame when things went wrong.
Blame is an ugly thing and it unfortunately something I do
with myself and to others too often. For
most of 2017 when my running went bad all I could do was blame the mistakes
that I had made previously. I burned
out, I pushed too hard, this injury is because of this reason or that. As races went poorly my mind immediately went
to blaming anything I could. Weather,
competitors, no time based on parenting responsibilities, you name it. The thing is none of this needed any blame
attached to it at all, blame was just my easy way out, instead of accepting the
outcomes. When we blame others or things
when something goes wrong we don’t grow and we don’t sometimes don’t
acknowledge/accept what happened, and ultimately we struggle to move on. My poor race results, my injuries, the
mistakes I made in life in 2017 they happened and some were mistakes I
made. Which is fine I am human being
that is what we do, but instead I spent most of 2017 blaming anything I could
and as I did that I continued to not grow or accept what happened. I think if I focused on what happened and
learning from it instead of finding something to blame I could have overcome a
lot of this quicker instead of living in a blame cycle. When you are someone who tends to think a lot
in black and white operating in the grey is sometimes a bit difficult but as I
tried more and more in 2017 I started to feel better and better and finally by
the end of the year I was able to move past.
The past is written but the future is mine to define.
The story of my 2017 running year doesn’t lie in my results
(I only raced 7 times) it’s in what I learned as a person and about
myself. I am 35 years old and I
constantly am learning something new, it’s the only way to be able to continue
to grow as a person. Keeping my eyes
open and trying to understand other perspectives helps me to learn new things
and see things in a different light. The
more I learn about myself the better I am about dealing with life and running. In the end when something happens be it a
running injury, a burnout in running, stress from work/social life whatever it
may be, it’s on me to be able to deal it.
Too often in the past I pushed these issues on others, when in the long
run I need to be able to deal with life because ultimately the way you react to
something says much more about you than the issue itself.
As always I hope you enjoyed this blog and I’m hoping to get
back on a more regular blogging routine as I have some things I’d like to talk
about and talk about some big running decisions I made in late 2017 that I am
excited about for 2018.
As always some photos from recent events!
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